To CJ and Dawson, Be Quiet

Carter and Dawson,

In a day and age that everyone has something to say and a platform on which to say it (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat, and yes, even a blog), remember that sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. "Talking is like playing on the harp; there is as much in laying the hand on the strings to stop their vibration as in twanging them to bring out their music." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Thank you very much, social media. You've shown us all that the secret to being a bore is to tell absolutely everything you know. Often times, the quiet person is the one the crowd will stop and listen to. Introspective is powerful, and thinking thoroughly before speaking is wisdom. Only until the words form and come out of your mouth do people know what you are all about. Keep them guessing a bit. Be somewhat mysterious. Leave parts of yourself up to the imagination. It's okay to make people wonder about you.

Know, too, that conflict cannot survive without your participation, so when things get heated, just listen. You'll avoid many unfortunate times and will be looked upon with great admiration if you can control your tongue. I promise. Listen. Process. Think for a bit. The words can wait for later. There is always an opportunity to speak, but there is never an opportunity to take something back once spoken. So think carefully. In an argument, you can choose to be right, silently. I've never witnessed an argument where one side simply won because of what they said, or have seen the other side concede in an aha moment after hearing brilliant words from their foe. Speaking has no such power. In your actions and self control lies the key. Yes, the wisest people I've ever known are those who say nothing in dangerous times. Let your actions defend you, not your words.

Even though the world says differently, know that you really don't have to be heard .. right now, anyway. There will be times you will be asked to speak. People will want to know what you think. You will be given an opportunity to defend yourself or state your ideals. Then, and only then, will your words have substance and any power at all to influence or change the course of things. But be ready with clarity and thoughtfulness. Be passionate, but not emotional, considerate, but unwavering. You are destined for leadership and great things, boys. Please be prepared, and take care with your words.

Love, Mom